Trust your parental instincts!

My goodness, I should be sleeping but I'm so disturbed by a commentary I read the other day, I need to express some thoughts and get them out of my head...

I read an article by an "educated" couple whose baby was diagnosed with anorexia by the age of 9 MONTHS. 9 MONTHS! They claim that they were following the guidance of a book by a baby expert and they were ignoring the baby's sleep signs and hunger signs so that they could train the baby to sleep through the night.

Good heavens, people! When the child is hungry, FEED THE CHILD. When the child is tired, LET THE CHILD SLEEP. I have a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and a 7 month old and a husband in Iraq. My children are well behaved and, although I am tired, I WOULD NEVER NEVER NEVER DENY MY BABY HER BASIC NEEDS SO I COULD SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!
Face it, this is what it comes down to--when do I (me, me, me) get some sleep? I will get it eventually, most likely not tonight. I get around 7-8 hours of interrupted sleep every night--normally woken up 3-10 times for various reasons by various children. No one sleeps in my bed because I need some space but I will sleep on someone's floor if the thunder is too frightening or the monsters are lurking.

I have given my children the freedom to eat when they are hungry, within limits,...and you know what? They eat smart and on a regular schedule. I am stringent about naps and bedtime. Their routine fell right into place when I stayed alert to their sleep signals.

Am I exhausted? Absolutely. A few weeks ago I was even hallucinating that someone was throwing things at me...it was very odd to have that happen. I interviewed some babysitters this weekend so that I can start getting a break. I'd like to think that it's smart/wise to know when to ask for help (something I'm terrible at doing). I find that I morph into a very unpleasant person when I am exhausted. My whole day hinges on making it to the next time I might be able to sleep.

But I would NEVER deny a baby their basic needs for survival so that I could fulfill mine. This book tried to place the blame on the author but a book is just a book--an inanimate object potentially full of wonderful answers when combined with listening and trusting your own parental instincts. Every child is a true gift from God that is only yours for such a brief period of time. Use some common sense--feed the child, let the child sleep, and hug him or her every minute that you can...

You will sleep again one day.

Vaccination misinformation

I was quite surprised to receive the July edition on PARENTS magazine. One of the feature articles is entitled "The Worried Mom's Guide to Baby Vaccines." Vaccinations are such a hot topic right now so I was pleased to see that PARENTS took on this controversial subject, if not a little curious.

The article was written by Nancy Gottesman. Well, Nancy, you screwed it up. You fell for the trick that most 6th graders use when writing their first research paper--find facts that support your theory and throw the rest to the wind. In a mere page and a half, Nancy presents only one side of the issue and makes broad generalizations such as quoting Dr. Michael Orenstein regarding the strength of an infant's immune system: "However, the truth is that infants can respond to multiple vaccines..." Really? I don't think that has been proven yet. She then lists each of the shots with a brief description of each ignoring the potential side effects and the lack of safety data on shots such as PCV (Prevnar).

The next article is entitled "Hot Topic: Vaccines and Autism" by Ari Brown, MD. Dr. Brown also belittles the entire process by citing reports that support his view and completely discounts any opinions to the contrary. Dr. Brown, I know a few families whose lives were changed radically after their child received a round of vaccinations....

My son--who is now three--reacted to one of his vaccinations. Nothing major, just huge hives for 2 weeks whenever he ate eggs. The worrisome part is that the reaction was treated with a cavalier attitude and as merely routine. No one really seemed concerned that they had NO IDEA which vaccine may have caused the reaction. Thank goodness it was nothing more serious because that incident further eroded any faith I have in the medical system.

Don't get me wrong. We need doctors. But doctors are people, too, and often get caught up in their medical textbooks. It's rare to find a Dr. that actually LISTENS to you. I think my sister has found one but I've never found one myself...

The vaccination controversy is of serious concern to me. I have found a happy medium through Dr. Stephanie Cave, MD, in her book "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccines." The book is excellent and very informative. She provides excellent advice but allows the reader to make their own decisions.

Yes, my five month old daughter will receive her vaccinations but it will be on an extended schedule. Despite PARENTS magazine's incredibly biased view of the controversy, I believe that there is overwhelming evidence that no one really knows the truth and that's all the evidence that I need.

Sesame Street Video

THANK YOU SESAME STREET. If you have a spouse/friend in the military, Sesame Street has come out with a video to help children who have a parent who is deploying. Go to www.miiltaryonesource.com or call 800-342-9647 for the video and related materials.

My husband is a US Marine currently training in CA for a fall deployment. My kids loved the video and it has really helped them express their emotions a bit better. We do not live near a military community right now so it was great to see them connect with Elmo and sympathize with his dad leaving. However, the "deployment" part of the video also shows Elmo's dad returning home. The related music video showing kids hugging their returning parents leaves them distraught. It is a mixed blessing...

Just a random entry...

Wow, it's been a long time since I've made any entries. Life has been crazy. I truly admire people who write regularly in their blogs.

We added a new family member in February--Charlotte. She is the completion of our family...and she is intense! She started rolling over yesterday from back to front and she is just shy of the 4 month mark. She continually tracks her brother and sister as they play and interact and you can tell she is ready to join the fun.

She is actually a good night sleeper but the day nap schedule is a different story. With 2 other children, my ability to focus on and protect her nap attempts is a true challenge. She thrives on 20 minute cat naps but I know a much longer nap is what she needs.

Sigh! Every day is a new day.

Do I use my software?

OK, so I'm sure you are wondering: Do I use my own software?

The answer is a resounding "YES." I did not use it a lot for the past couple of months but here is how I am currently finding it very useful...

My daughter Rhiannon is 4. She has been a great napper but has had trouble going to sleep at 8:30 pm a few months now and she awakes between 6:15 and 7:00 am.

My son Dasher is 2. He has the same bedtime but is more inclined to awaken around 6:00 am and then I really have to keep him going until a 1 pm naptime.

Seemed like a lot of work for 2 kids that I didn't really feel were getting adequate sleep, so I decided to try an experiment. I am currently being leniently with Rhiannon and not forcing her to nap. On the Activity Tracking Software (ATS), I am finding it useful to track if and when she naps, her bedtime, and her overall mood. For Dasher, I have moved his naptime one hour earlier to 12 pm. I am tracking his daily nap and bedtime. Bedtime is earlier, lights are out by 8:00 pm.

Observation from one week: Both children are falling asleep much more quickly at bedtime. Rhiannon gets really cranky if she misses her nap 2 days in a row. Dasher is going to sleep quickly with his earlier naptime (and Rhiannon, also, on the days she naps) and his nap seems to be increasing from 2 to 3 hours (interested in seeing if this trend continues). They are also both sleeping until about 7:00 am.

Granted, this is only one week of observation but it's fantastic to have a quick visual view of the situation on my computer and to not second guess what I remember from the day before (I walked out of the grocery store without my groceries the other day...again. At least I didn't drive all the way home this time!) By looking at the data I input into the ATS, I can immediately see that my experiment seems to be having a positive effect. My children are falling asleep faster, they are sleeping longer, and they seem to be more rested in general. Nice!

Once I get into the groove with the new sleep schedule, I am going to begin tracking our attempts at potty training Dasher which, to date, have been sporadic at best...

ABC Kid's Expo--see you there!

My Baby's Day just got pulled off the waiting list for the ABC Kid's Expo in Las Vegas in September. Yeah!

We will be there at a mini-booth. I will publish more as I find out more specifics about our booth location.

Another sleep dep mom...

Saw a friend at the grocery store today. She got out of her min-van, took her 2 yr old, and went into the store. What did she forget? To close her mini-van door....!